Religion is like a what?!?!

I found this picture on my Facebook news feed the other day and at first I was offended, but after I thought about it for a while I felt really sad.

This is the sort of thing we are dealing with in today’s culture.  It used to be that people were fighting against Christianity and persecuting Christians.  Now they just don’t care.  In the spiritual war we are fighting for every soul around us, how do you fight against this?

People think they are doing fine on their own.  Even though they worship all manner of different things, they believe they have no god, and they are managing just fine.  Why would they need to obey some mythical figure and follow a bunch of rules?

The world around us screams about a Creator.  And it demands an answer.  Yes or no.  Unfortunately, pretending you don’t have to make the choice is actually choosing no.

Hose Clamp Skull Cap

I want to try to paint a picture of what it is like inside my head.  I find it a circle of struggles that I deal with on a regular basis.  I would assume that a lot of guys have these same struggles and I bet many use the same techniques I do to cope.  Anyway, here is the picture…

When my mind goes idle I often cast about trying to find things to think about.  This happens to me when I am driving, falling asleep, mowing the lawn, stuff like that.  I often think of this as the times I am hanging out with myself.  My internal monologue kicks in.  I am daydreaming about stuff.  I come up with arguments about things I am passionate about.  And my mind falls prey to all sorts of selfishness, greed, hurtfulness…..sin.

Ok, so the scene is set.  I just started mowing the lawn 3 minutes ago and I have about an hour and a half of mowing ahead of me.  My mind has shifted into neutral….

I start thinking about cars.  I love automobiles in general but I really love my car.  I have big plans for it like a supercharger at some point in the future (this won’t actually ever happen…), but in the interim, I would like to get a header-back exhaust on it.  That would be sweet and it is sort of inside the realm of possibility even though it would still cost quite a bit.  My thoughts never seem to just be content with the pure love of automobiles.  It always leads to me wishing I could get this for my car or do that to it.  I've got plans.  Always wanting something else.  Never content.  It is frustrating and I don’t think the discontent is biblical.  I think it is sin to always be wanting something more – never to be satisfied with what you have.  Alright fine!  I take a firm grip of my car thoughts and mentally push them over there and I hold them away from me with one of my mental arms.

Next…..

Sex.  That is something that’s pretty interesting to think about.  Problem is, it is such a slippery slope to keep sex thoughts pure and clean.  So that lasts for a lot less time than the car thoughts and I throw a super vice-grip onto those thoughts and mentally push them away.

Alright, now I’m holding those away.  I can do this.  Next…..

I love video games.  I wish I could somehow be a professional video game player (that or a race car driver of some sort).  I would love to make my living that way.  Yeah right…  So I start analyzing my latest session playing Destiny.  “Last time I went into the big room I headed left and tried sniping the guy from there but I wonder if it would work better to head to the right and climb up to the balcony.  There is better cover there and I could duck and hide if need be……”  How much of my life gets poured into video games?  How much of my time and mental energy is spent on this COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS PURSUIT?  You know what, video games in and of themselves are not the problem.  Sure they don’t promote anything good and usually they do promote stuff that is unhealthy, but I see the problem as the time they take from my life.  I think the enemy is very supportive of the video game industry as it pulls me out of basically everything.  Volunteer activities, building meaningful relationships, studying God’s Word, building into my relationship with my wife, praying, and on and on…  Ok, grab that with a firm grip and push it away and hold it there.  (Something you may not know about me is that I have quite a few mental arms – not just two.  I kind of need that many because my mental landscape all slopes toward me.  I can’t just push thoughts away and leave them there because they all roll back to me as soon as I let go of them.  Mental arms people – you can never have enough of them).

You know what it feels like to have all those mental arms holding stuff away? Imagine a hose clamp that fits onto your skull. 

Now tighten it down REALLY tight!  There, that should do it.  Ok (through gritted teeth) the breach is contained; I’m good to go now.  And so I move forward one painful step after another on the path of life.  Guess what happens to me every now and then (in fact quite often) – the hose clamp bursts open.  Everything comes apart and I fail.

Over and over and over and over and over and over………

Every time I fail I beat the stuffing out of myself.  I cry out, “God!  Why is this so hard all the time?!”  I can’t do it on my own.  I already know that – which makes it really hard to even motivate myself to grip those thoughts and push them away in the first place.  What is the point?  I have never succeeded at this in the past.  What makes me think I can do it now?

God stands at the door and knocks.  Give it to me my boy, that is the only way you can make this work.  Crazy thing is I don’t even own these struggles any more.  A story Boyd Hopkins used to explain it to me once goes like this:  Boyd bought a property once in BC.  It was a nice large property with foliage all around.  He went and checked the place out, he liked it, he bought it.  It wasn’t until the next year when he was standing on his back deck and he notices something out back in the bushes that he hadn’t ever seen before.  Sort of looks like a chimney or something out back there.  Turns out there was an old structure back there that was full of the previous owners old junk!  Old bicycles, lawn mowers, rusted patio furniture, broken windows, probably an old clothes dryer – you know the sort of stuff I’m talking about.  So, now what?  Call up the previous owner and get him to come clean this trash up?  Nope, Boyd had purchased it with the property.  Well God purchased our property on the cross.  He owns it!  All of it.  It is His because he bought it.  Haha, what a sucker God is right?!  Nope.  Difference is He knew it was there when he bought the property but He knew we would never be able to clean all that up.

So here’s the key: I have to stop fighting and say, “God, I’m gonna need you to come clean this up because you bought it on the cross and I actually can’t even lift it.”  I need to surrender it to God, not keep fighting.  I need to walk away from the fight.

How hard is that to do?  I haven’t managed to successfully do it yet.  I’m pretty sure it is harder than doing the Crota’s End raid on Hard in Destiny.

Children

I have a couple children. I love them quite a bit. I try to reason with them all the time just because that is what I do. In my world things are supposed to make sense. So I try to explain that to them and I expect them to right away see that daddy knows what he is talking about, what he is asking of me is quite reasonable, I don't see why I didn't see it from his perspective right from the beginning. Yeah right...  I don't suppose I have gotten that reaction from them yet, but they're 4 years old so maybe I am expecting a bit too much from them.

I am often surprised though how many adults can't see reason either. They also respond like children. Tit for tat. You did this to me so I'm not talking to you any more until you say sorry. I'm not saying sorry first - it's your fault, you say sorry first. I'm gonna block you from my Facebook account. You hurt my feelings, now I'm gonna be mad at you.

Children.

I have a situation with my extended family right now where exactly this is happening. There is some sort of a perceived slight and then all of a sudden the bottom lip starts to stick out and it is all about me and my feelings and how could you do this to me, now I'm not talking to you any more. Grow up people! And I have to say, it's kind of funny for me to say this since these people are all my elders LOL.

I had an issue that came up between my cousin and I a couple years back. We definitely saw the issue from opposing sides and we had quite a falling out about it. The issue involved several thousand dollars so it was quite serious for both of us. We don't live near each other and we rarely see each other so that could have spelled the end of that relationship and we could have just written each other off completely. No big loss right? Just some very infrequent awkward moments at family gatherings right? No, not right!

I would then be living with that in my heart. I would have poison in my heart! Yes, poison! How can you be whole when you have a section of your heart that is black with poison? God speaks to this in Matthew 5:23-24. He is not interested in any gift we have for Him if we have got a feud going on with our brother (or sister or parent or child or friend or co-worker or......). How can we think that we can offer up good things to God on the one hand and deal dirty with people around us on the other hand? Nope. There is a crucial disconnect there.

I want to tell you something that I found interesting. Your motivations for forgiving people can be completely selfish. Stop the Presses! What?!?! Alright let's hear this, I think this might be something that could maybe work for all of us. I know I am as selfish as they come. I believe God wants us to forgive each other out of a spirit of love and compassion for each other, however, let's just explore this other side of the coin for a minute. Do you really want to live your life holding on to your precious pain? Wouldn't it be liberating to let it go? Just for a second imagine what your life would be like if you didn't have to nurture that pain in your heart. You don't need to say the other person was right in order to let go of the pain and the anger. Conversly you don't need to convince the other person that you were right in order to forgive them for the pain their actions caused you.  You don't even need the other person to want to forgive you in order for you to forgive them. See where I'm going with this? Forgiveness is your choice and your choice alone. Nobody can take that away from you. You don't require anything at all from the other person in order to forgive them. You don't even require them to be alive.

Here's the rub - if they are alive, you need to tell them that you forgive them. Crap. It would be a lot easier if we could just forgive the jerks and never talk to them again. Right, it would, and that sentence shows why that just won't work. If we've forgiven them then they can no longer be addressed as "the jerks", and we need to resume relationship with them. If we've forgiven them what reason do we now have to not invite them into our home? Jesus does not call us to "forgive and forget". That is a saying that we made up, not something Jesus asks of us. We are unable to forget. What this means is that we are not required to put ourselves back into a position to be hurt from "the jerks" again, but we do have to stop calling them that and we do need to resume relationship with them.

Guess what? This is a happy ending. My cousin and I contacted each other and worked it out. How did we do that? We both decided that we didn't need to live holding on so tightly to our pain. Our pain was not that precious to us. Our relationship was more precious to us than our pain. We both gave the pain to God, because after all, it belongs to Him. He bought it from us on the cross. This does not mean we are best friends. This does not mean that it does not still hurt for us to see each other. It means that we have forgiven each other for whatever wrongs we percieve were committed against us. We still don't see the issue from the same perspective, but that is not important to us anymore. Now I don't have that weight hanging around my neck and neither does he. My respect for him went through the roof after we worked this out. He is a man who is working to be closer to his Saviour just like me.

However, the situation with my extended family continues. It is sad that these people just want to hold on to their pain. I believe it has become part of them. For them to give it up at this point would be to admit defeat. It would show weakness. That kind of thinking is soooooo flawed. True strength of character is shown in forgiveness. It takes immense strength and it is the path to victory, not defeat.

When I was a young boy my Uncle Dave said something to me I will never forget. I had acted out against him for something or other, I can't remember what it was, and that is not the point of this story. I was standing on the stairs in our house on Neil Avenue in Winnipeg, Uncle Dave was standing at the bottom of the stairs.  I had just apologized to him.  He very graciously said, "It takes a big man to say sorry". So true. I have never forgotten that moment.

My Prayer

Heavenly Father, I give you everything I've got:

My house,

My car,

My children,

My pride,

My reputation,

My time,

My comfort

My job,

My body,

My wife,

My health,

My safety,

Even all my failures.

It is all yours now.

Every praise, every word of worship, is to my God. 

Psalm 119 - In Praise of the Law

Notice the title of this post is not Psalms 119.  It is only the one Psalm.

I am not going to type it all out here as it is much too long for that.  I just wanted to explain two interesting details of this Psalm that I did not know about before yesterday.

First, do you see those weird headings throughout the Psalm?  They are the letters of the Hebrew alphabet.  א - Aleph, ב - Beth, ג - Gimel, and so on.  There are 22 of them which is why there are 22 sections of 8 verses each in Psalm 119.  Here is the neat part, if you were to read Psalm 119 in Hebrew, each verse starts with the letter indicated.  Obviously this is lost in translation, but you can see that the author was looking to incorporate alliteration in his work.  He is using the entire alphabet to praise the word of God.

Second, every verse (literally, take a look, every single verse has it) points to the word of God.  Various different words are used throughout the Psalm.  Decrees, Precepts, Law, Word, Commands, Statutes, and so on.  I had never noticed this before although it is quite blatant.

Kind of cool to know these two little tidbits right?  Now read Psalm 119.  It becomes more of a poem or song instead of just a long chapter full of words.  It sure would be neat to be able to read the entire book of Psalms in the original languange.

My Existence Is Being Used Up!

I find lately that I am uninspired.  Bored with everything.  I am looking for some sort of excitement for my life.

I go to work to earn money for food, bills, mortgage and the occasional purchase.  I come home from work to eat supper with my family.  I try my best to put my work day behind me as quickly as I can because I need to be cheerful and talkative during the short time my kids are still up after I get home (to be honest I don’t only need to do this but I do want to do it, but it takes a superhuman effort most days to do this).  I need to build into them as much as I can during the time I have since I only get about 2 hours a day with them.  If I spend those 2 hours being on my own that is not fair to them; and once again, honestly, I don’t want them to have a family experience like that.

After the kids are in bed I read a book, or I watch some shows, or I play a computer game, or I _______________ (insert some other time wasting activity here).  You see, I have this time before I go to bed that needs to be filled somehow.  Sometimes I actually do something that needs to be done like changing the oil in my car, cleaning up the kitchen or mowing my lawn.  What does it mean?  Not really anything.

The next day – more of the same.

Sometimes I drive around thinking, What am I doing?  My existence is being used up on an errand to Future Shop.  It is not getting me anywhere.  There’s got to be more than this right?  Ok, well I do love driving, so I think, I’m going to enjoy my driving experience.  For me that probably means breaking a bunch of laws driving like a maniac so I don’t do this very often – it’s hard on the vehicle and it’s hard on the pocketbook if you get caught.  What is up with traffic?  Why do people drive so slowly?  Doesn’t anyone else try to enjoy the driving experience?  I guess not…  Soooo, if I can’t enjoy the driving experience what else can I do?  Hmm, well I really like listening to music extremely loud while I drive.  I’ll try that.  Looking through the albums on my phone……..nothing.  Great.  I bought this music, so I obviously like it, but there is usually nothing there that I’m really pumped to listen to.

What is my life?  Just an unending sequence of tasks and errands and stuff that really, in the end, is worthless?

I know the answers to all of these questions.  Intellectually I know that:

• if I were to be listening to God in the car while I drive instead of trying to fill my mind with useless nonsense it would bring me peace
• if I were to spend my time praying in the evenings I would find fulfillment since I would be engaging with the only being who can show me what I want to know
• if I were to spend my efforts looking for what God is doing around me and then engaging with Him in those activities it would be so much more rewarding than earning a Platinum trophy on a PS3 game by defeating an end boss in under 4 minutes
• so much else can go here…

God created me.  It wasn’t a whim.  I do have a purpose.  We all have a purpose and someday we will be called to answer.  My life feels unsatisfying because it is not in line with that purpose.  Of course I’m going to be aimlessly wandering!

I don’t put these solutions into practice in my life.  I really do know these things, but I always put off practicing them.  Paul said, “I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it.  Instead, I do what I hate.” Romans 7:15 (NLT)  He did the same thing as me!  I’ll bet he was riding around on his donkey (aka, driving) thinking the same things I do, “I need some excitement in my life.  I’m gonna gallop my donkey through town!  That will be epic!”  Paul and I have this in common: We were/are human.

This goes into every corner of my life.  Where do I spend my money?  Where do I spend my time?  Where do I direct my thoughts?  I spend it all, I direct it all towards myself.

 

How do I change this?  How do I drum up the energy to engage my desire to change this?  All of the unsaved people around me are relying on me!  And I am letting them down!

I'm Being Manipulated!

I have just clued in to something that my wife has been doing to me over the last few months.  I believe she is manipulating me!  Outrageous!  Let me explain what I’ve found out.

It all started about half a year to maybe a year ago when she did a couple Bible studies based on Ephesians and Proverbs 31.  I wasn’t totally following the content of the studies, but they had something to do with being a godly woman/wife.  Then I started to notice some subtle manipulations.

All of a sudden I noticed that she doesn’t have a short fuse with me anymore (not that I can blame her when she does).  She is trying to take care of things in the house so I don’t have to be busy when I get home from work.  She is looking after the kids so that I don’t get as frustrated with them with the little things.  She is supporting me and building me up.  She is putting my priorities ahead of her own.  She is showing me way too much love…

I have finally put the whole thing together.  I am not going to stand still for being manipulated!  Two can play at this game!  Now I am going to try to be as considerate as possible with her.  I am going to try to be sensitive to what she needs so I can meet those needs.  I don’t want the kids to run her down too much so I will help out wherever I can.  I want to free her up whenever I can so she can go running and do some of the things she wants to do with her friends.  I want to start being less selfish with my time.  I want to finish off a bunch of things that have been sitting undone at home which she has suspiciously been so understanding about.  I’m going to spend more time convincing her that I love her.  I want to find out how God intends me to be a father and husband and then do those things so I can totally get back at her J  Mwaahahahaha!  Let's see how she likes it when the shoe is on the other foot!

Maybe God spoke to her in those Bible studies.  What an example she has been to me in this.

Think He intended marriage partners to manipulate each other with love in this way?

John 14:6

I was driving around in Edmonton about 7 years or so ago with a co-worker and he asked me if I would mind if we stopped in at a church where his wedding was going to be taking place in a month or two so he could speak with somebody there to make some sort of arrangement.  It was no problem for me so I agreed.  I can’t remember those details completely anymore since it was so long ago but I think it was a United church or something like that.  I remember waiting for him in his truck in the parking lot, looking around in appreciation at the new facility with the nicely paved parking lot.  Must have cost quite a bit since it was quite a large building and they had done a really nice job making the parking lot pretty with trees and green spaces instead of just throwing out a huge uninterrupted mat of asphalt.

All of a sudden it hit me: These people must really be serious about what they believe in to spend this kind of cash.  I’m a Mennonite Brethren so you wouldn’t catch me attending a United church.  Don’t ask me what all the differences are because I don’t know – all I know is that I agree with things the way they are at the Mennonite Brethren churches and I don’t see a good reason to change what aint broke so I’m staying put.

I kept thinking along the previous path – who are all these people who go to this church?  Well my buddy attends here and I think he’s a good guy; he’s got a pretty good head on his shoulders.  I would imagine that this United church has members from all walks of life, just like my church.  What are they all doing going to this United church?  Have they all been deceived?  They obviously take it pretty seriously to invest their cash in this new facility.

The natural progression of these thoughts led me to consider other religions instead of just other denominations within Christianity.  What about Muslims?  Buddhists?  Hindus?  Taoists?  Just to name a few.  How are these churches all surviving?  Are they only attended by idiots?  Are they just kidding around?  I don’t think so.  The implications are not really all that funny.  So then what are they doing believing in this stuff?  How can something that makes so much sense to me be so incredibly different for other people?  And they are utterly convinced that they are right and I am wrong!

It makes me feel kind of small.  It makes me nervous too.  What if I AM wrong?  How can I truly know that I am right?!?!  I don’t know how to answer this.  I have heard that there are Christians who are so solid in their faith that they don’t struggle with questions like this.  I’m not one of them.  All it takes are a few well shot arrows from the Enemy and I really start pondering things.

A large measure of comfort is provided to me in John 14:6:

“Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.  If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well.  From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”

NO ONE COMES TO THE FATHER EXCEPT THROUGH JESUS CHRIST.  NO ONE!!!  AND THERE IS NO OTHER WAY!!!  That is the bottom line right there.  There is no area of life which has a line below that one – it is at the very bottom.

Begin In Me

The Leadership Team (basically the name we give our church board) at church has been working from a new perspective this past year called "Begin In Me".  We came up with this idea at our previous retreat where we really wanted to commit ourselves to spearheading initiatives that are going on at church.  This is something I can really get excited about supporting because it is something that makes complete sense to me.

It speaks to a mindset that is not going to wait for someone else to start something.  It is an internal perspective instead of an external one.  Point the finger at yourself.

How can we reach out to our community?  Begin in me...

How do we encourage our churches to get into the Word?  Begin in me...

How can we improve the perception unbelievers have of Christians?  Begin in me...

How do we get people to renew their commitment and dedication to God?  Begin in me...

How can we be Christians without making it personal?  It discourages me when I look at the church and see our young adults not attending congregational meetings, not tithing, not involved in ministry.  Is this your religion or your parents'?  You want to make it real?  Begin in me.  It discourages me when I see our "half-time" Children's Minster (who works at least 40 hours a week) struggling to find volunteers.  You want a children's program for your kids when you are at church?  Begin in me.  One thing which is extremely encouraging at our church is that our finances have been strong for at least the past 10 years.  Wow, that is a real indication of our church members putting their money where their beliefs are.  Many of the church leaders I have heard from though are not in the same ballpark (not even playing in the same league) as our church so it begs the question - why aren't you financially supporting your church?  Begin in me.

**Aside: Many of you are wondering - did Jon just use a sports metaphor?  Does Jon even know what a ballpark and a league are?  Yes, I have heard people talk about sports before you know!**

As a LIFE group we are reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan.  Now this book really stresses a Begin In Me attitude.  I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to make their faith personal.  Part of Francis' message is that we can't do this thing part way.  God calls us to be wholly devoted to Him.  Guess how that starts.  With you/me.  Sunday morning is not enough.  Francis' message goes as far as to say an hour a day is not enough.  5 hours a day is not enough.  Well sheesh!  That sounds impossible!  All day is just barely enough.  Just barely.  If you can give more than all day you should.  All day is the bare minimum.  23.5 hours a day is not enough.  How on earth can we do that?  We ask Christ to Begin In Me.

Sounds like I've got it all figured out hey?  I have a post called "I'm not that bright...don't tell anyone..."  Give that a read and it should clear up any misconceptions you have.  What I do know is this: there is no telling what God could do through us if we were completely dedicated to Him.  Spend 5 minutes on this thought: What could an omnipotent, omniscient God do through a man or woman who was totally dedicated to Him?  I mean fully committed, tapped into the Spirit, not distracted by the world.  Remember, don't put limits on God when you think about this (He has no limits, remember?).  When I think of that I come up with a bunch of words to describe my thoughts:

• inspired - it is kind of exciting to think of what God could do through me
• reluctant - what things am I currently spending my time on that I would need to give up to get to this place?
• awe

It begins with you and me.  Don't wait for someone else to do it.  We can't sustain this type of thing on our own.  Ask God to Begin In You.  I'll do the same.

I Then Shall Live

This song was inspired by Francis Schaeffer's book How Should We Then Live.

"I Then Shall Live" by the Gaither Vocal Band with Signature Sound:

I then shall live as one who's been forgiven,
I'll walk with joy to know my debts are paid,
I know my name is clear before my father,
I am His child and I am not afraid.
So greatly pardoned I'll forgive my brother,
The law of love I gladly will obey.

I then shall live as one who's learned compassion,
I've been so loved that I'll risk loving too,
I know how fear builds walls instead of bridges,
I'll dare to see another's point of view.
And when relationships demand commitment,
Then I'll be there to care and follow through.
Your kingdom come around and through and in me,
Your power and glory, let them shine through me.
Your Hallowed name, O may I bear with honour,
And may Your living Kingdom come in me.
The bread of life, O may I share with honour,
And may You feed a hungry world through me.
Amen.

Our decline into apathy

I was reading some more of The Tangible Kingdom the other night and I came across an interesting viewpoint.  The author suggested that we are overcoming a difficulty we've been struggling with for 1700 years!  The culprit: Constantine!  (I always knew that guy was no good!)  If our goal is to become an incarnational community like we see described in Acts, one of the biggest hurdles for us to overcome is the acceptance of our faith into the core of the culture.  .....what??  That doesn't make a whole lot of sense until we see where the author is taking it.

The early church was not accepted by the culture.  They were on the fringe.  They were struggling for acceptance.  They didn't have buildings or paid leaders.  They were martyred and persecuted which caused them to scatter. 

Then, 300 AD, along comes Constantine who converts to Christianity.  All of a sudden, the state is sponsoring the construction of meeting places, there are paid leaders for the church (Constantine appointed the first pope), the Edict of Milan comes down and nobody is getting killed for their faith anymore (officially anyway).

Result: The desperation disappears.  On one hand we've got a bunch of people living on the edge.  They are trying to survive.  Their faith is real for them because it could mean their lives - that is nothing you really want to fool around with.  People could look at these Christians and see folk who really lived what they preached.  They were looking after the widows, the orphans, and each other.  This was a community where, once you belonged, you had a purpose.  These guys were meeting regularly to discuss the apostles teaching, fellowshipping with each other, eating together and praying together.  This was attractive.

On the other hand you have a bunch of people joining up to the cause because it is the official religion of the state.  Well, the emperor is a Christian, I want to kiss his ass so, yeah, I'm a Christian too.  Are the pews comfy?  Then yeah, I could come sit there for a while on Sunday morning.  No big deal.  Easy to join, easy to not-join.  This was apathy.

The other hand is how the world sees us today.

With the acceptance of Christianity it is far too easy to be a part time Christian.  You don’t need to be making radical decisions.  You don’t need to be relying on God daily to keep your family safe.  You don’t need to support widows or orphans – the state has programs for that stuff – you don’t even need to think about them at all really - in fact, we recommend that you don't, it'll just bring you down.  Now all of a sudden you've got a chasm between the paid staff in the church and the lay people.  Back in the early church it was your neighbour the plumber that was the church leader, and he was only the leader because last week the officials caught the previous leader and knocked him off!  Next week you might be the leader!

So, what do you think?  Can we blame Constantine for all of this?  Should we get a posse together and round him up, ask him a few questions, rough him up a bit maybe?  Or should we applaud his efforts in giving Christianity legitimacy?  After all, how could he possibly have foreseen that a by-product of legitimizing Christianity would be increased apathy?  It is a good question and an interesting perspective…

Lest we forget...

To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy - to the only God our Saviour be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.

Jude 24 & 25

My Masochistic Tendencies...

I have recently been thinking a lot about the motivations I have to pursue a relationship with God.  They leave me unsatisfied.

You see, very often I find myself feeling guilty about not reading my Bible enough, not praying enough, not knowing where a particular passage of scripture is or not knowing what the Bible has to say about this or that.  Other times I will think about heaven and hell - what will they be like?  If we really can't imagine how awesome heaven will be and how nasty hell will be this is pretty serious.  I can imagine a lot (I think).  Translation: I'm pretty sure I don't want to be spending a week in hell much less eternity.

So here I have two motivations: guilt and fear.  How many relationships have worked out for you in the past that were based on those two premises?  Were they satisfying?

What God wants from me is a relationship based on love.  Where this breaks down is I have such a hard time realizing God's love for me.  I have not tuned myself properly to recognize where God is at work around me, so He is relegated to more of a figure to be seen far off than someone who is working in my life today.  Does God love me?  This becomes difficult to answer affirmatively if I am not regularly experiencing Him in my life.

God becomes real to me in my life when I start looking for Him.  When I am listening to God, He will show me where He is working.  When I am pursuing that relationship with Him I can start to see that He is in my life waiting for my attention.  He's got a lot more patience than I do that's for sure.  When I finally have this relationship in the right standing I find I have a desire to read my Bible enough, and to pray enough.  I don't have the guilt motivator anymore at that point, and the fear is gone too.

The crazy thing is, I feel so much more at peace within myself when I have this working properly in my life.  Why is it so hard for me to keep this up?  It's like I'm a masochist or something.  Well, not really, I've just got too much stuff blocking my vision...that is a whole new topic...