Reconciliation in Canada

I am currently struggling with the movement towards reconciliation in Canada. Because I said that I will now be labelled a racist, a bigot, intolerant, an abusive husband and father, a drug addict, homophobic, a dangerous driver, an illegal immigrant, and all sorts of other racial slurs and negative terms.

Sidestepping the main point of my post for a second – this type of response is why people are scared to voice their opinions. I get that all the time in my position on Town Council too. People will message me privately to support something Council is doing or my stance on an issue, but they won’t engage publicly, because the public conversation is a diatribe against anything implemented by those idiots in government who haven’t got a clue what the regular people think about anything. Support those idiots and you will be raked over the coals along with them.

So back to reconciliation. After a lengthy conversation with friends last night on this subject I was prompted to look up the definition of reconciliation. It means the restoration of friendly relations. I think this definition is fantastic and I would love to see it applied to the reconciliation process in Canada. One of the individuals involved in the discussion last night brought up the point that in order for reconciliation to happen there needs to be an identification of the hurt and then forgiveness. That means that at some point we need to move past the hurt. We don’t stay there indefinitely. At what point does that hurt become acknowledged and the forgiveness can come?

I tend to get a little irritated when I am asked to feel guilty for the hurt that has been caused. I have not been involved in causing this particular hurt. My ancestors escaped to Canada from bitter persecution in Ukraine in 1925. Wait, what? My ancestors were hurt too? I am not responsible for this particular hurt. I do acknowledge that the First Nations people were dealt with unfairly when Canada was being settled by European immigrants. There are lasting effects of this that are still being felt today. All of this is true. I do not want to minimize that the government of the time tore families apart with their residential schools and their harsh policies. I can acknowledge this hurt and I would like to move past that into forgiveness please (forgiveness not towards me since I wasn’t involved in causing this hurt, but forgiveness to the perpetrators of the hurt).

One of the ideas that has been floating around in my head for the past couple years is that drawing dividing lines between groups of people is only going to serve to divide those groups of people. I know, this is incredibly inspired thinking. If we want to reconcile and live together in harmony, stop implementing policy that is going to pit one group of people against the other. Stop enacting legislation that gives one group of people an advantage at the expense of the other group. Stop funding the lifestyle of one group with mandatory taxation of the other group. Aha! There it is – I said it. I truly believe that we will never be able to move past the rift between First Nations and non-First Nations until we remove that particular financial dividing line. That is the biggest one. That is the one that hurts Federal taxpayers the most – in their wallets. We can try and try and try all sorts of different strategies, but as long as the financial dividing line exists nothing will work. It just feels inherently unfair to those being taxed. Yes, the First Nations people were treated unfairly also when Canada was being settled. Does this mean we need to be unfair to others today to somehow even the score for past wrongs? The past wrongs weren't perpetrated by this generation!

I have a different idea of reconciliation. Why don’t we live together in freedom to practice whatever culture we want? I would love it if a First Nations family would move into the house right beside me. I would have them over for a BBQ and a lazy afternoon in my backyard while our children played together. Let’s level the playing field to foster a mindset that we are all in it together. Remove all the dividing lines mandated by government. If you want to engage in the type of lifestyle I choose, come on over and let’s live together in harmony. If you want to engage in a different type of lifestyle that’s good too, just don’t force it on me because that’s not what I choose for myself. We can choose what we want and then move in that direction.

Back to my second paragraph…  What have I just done to myself now that I have voiced an opinion and asked some questions that are not in line with mainstream views for reconciliation? What will be the backlash for me? What names will I be called?

Pride

I am fairly certain God has placed me into my current workplace to teach me humility. I am learning this on two levels:

Firstly, I can see how far I am from where I used to be I am often forced to tell myself that I will be ok. I often feel like I have fallen so far. I have been forced to determine my worth outside of my occupation. It is not about status. Those who think it is are going to have a rude awakening (Matthew 20:16). This is such an easy rut to get snared in.

Secondly, I am reminded on almost a weekly basis what humility does not look like. I work in an environment where the professionals around me are young, they don’t have much experience, but they have come to own the company and they are extremely arrogant about this. I believe life is going to teach these individuals much yet.

It also has much to teach me yet as I peel back layers of myself to find new depths of human weakness. We are here to serve each other – not to be served. We are here to love each other and have compassion as Christ demonstrated for us. I do pray for my superiors in this office (which includes almost everyone) that they can see this too before it is too late.

Banks Suck

I had to go into a bank today. I hate banks. I of course left all my rights as a human being at the door when I entered. It left me feeling very vulnerable – like someone was going to take advantage of me somehow. My feelings were justified.

I happen to have an eSavings account. Which means that I get bent over any time I want to do something. I have that type of account because it is the only thing I can get from them without having to pay a monthly fee.

So I went up to the teller to ask for my money and he reminded me it was going to cost me $5 to perform what I had asked. I said, “oh, I thought I had a certain number of free transactions per month”.

“Oh no sir. You have an eSavings account which gives you a higher interest rate but you have to pay for any transactions.”

Yeah, a higher interest rate currently sitting at 0.5%. Wow! Half of one whole entire percent! How do I not see how lucky I am with this ridiculously high interest rate?!

I must have twisted up my face when he said that as I tried to understand the logic. I believe that is when he took pity on me, this poor unenlightened person standing in front of him. You see, there is bank sense and then there is common sense. They do not mix. Bank employees are really to be applauded for their long-suffering patience as they are asked to explain bank sense to us uncivilized heathens.

Bank sense says: “Aww, you poor thing, I’ll try to lower myself to your level and explain it to you. We’re actually doing you a huge favour. You gave us your money and we keep it safe for you. This costs us a lot of money so you have to pay us billions to do this for you. You understand right?”

Billions? That’s right:

• CIBC 2015 Net Revenue: $3.6 Billion
• Royal Bank 2015 Net Revenue: $10.0 Billion
• Bank of Montreal 2015 Net Revenue: $4.7 Billion
• And so on…

Then there is common sense (I’ll let you in on a secret: it is far inferior to bank sense). Common sense says, “You’re renovating your branch again? Didn’t you just do that a couple years ago? Why are you charging me so much money every month and then spending it frivolously like this?” Ah, that is bank sense, us regular people are not to understand those higher concepts.

Banks are crooked. They don’t have to be accountable to their clients. What is your alternative? Keep all your money in a safe in your house? Bury it somewhere? You wouldn’t be able to operate in today’s society if you did that. Banks understand this and they exploit it.

Employment Equity

I just received my first Employment Equity Program questionnaire at work.  Apparently since we are doing work for the Federal Government we MAY be subject to the requirements set out under the Federal Contractors Program.  I can hardly explain how furious this makes me.  It is discrimination!

Am I a woman – Nope

Am I an Aboriginal person – Nope

Do I have a disability – Nope

Am I a visible minority – Nope

So, what this means is that if a decision ever has to be made between me and one of the people who can answer Yes to one of the four questions above (all other things being equal) I don’t get the job/promotion/raise/etc.  And, heaven forbid we are far behind our quota in any of the four categories, because then even if all other things are not equal I still won’t get the job.

Do we want to do work for the Federal Government?  Then we’ve got a quota to fill.

…I am just shaking at work right now this makes me so mad.

Choosing Christ

I sometimes have trouble coming to terms with the fact that I have to choose to follow Christ every day.  Over and over, every day.  Why can’t I just choose once and then it is decided?

Let’s say I go to get a coffee at a restaurant somewhere and the waiter asks me if I want sugar in it.  I answer yes.  30 seconds later he asks me if I want sugar in it….um, yes please.  25 seconds later he asks me again, do you want sugar in it?  Is this a trick question?  I said yes already.  10 seconds later…do you want sugar in your coffee?  Listen dude, do you have a hearing problem?  How many times do I have to say yes before you get the picture?!?

So why do I have to choose Christ over and over, day after day?  I get that we’re beings with free will.  And I get why that is important, I would have chosen to go that route as well if I were God.  (Haha, I’m sure God just breathed a sigh of relief – oh thank goodness, Jon agrees with what I have done, I guess I must be doing things right then….LOL)  But if I choose God today, why do I have to go through the sometimes agonizing decision again tomorrow, and then again the next day?  It is not always easy to make that choice – temptations come in so many different forms that the choice doesn’t even look the same from one time to the next.  In fact, often I don’t even recognize that is the choice I am making.

Some of you will say, you really only have to choose to follow Christ one time and then after that your name is written in the Book of Life and you’re good to go.  Ok, I am not going to go into the eternal security vs. conditional security debate here (but I will mention that if you ever have that debate with me I lean on the conditional security side of that fence).  Maybe I should say I have to choose to live for Christ daily.  Actually multiple times per day would be more accurate.

I get tired of failing.  I get tired of being tempted – often with the same things over and over.  I just want to choose once and be done with it.

I suppose the answer lies somewhere with the fact that time is linear and choices we make do not rule out the possibility that we will encounter similar branches in the path ahead of us…  Whatever.  That is not a very satisfying answer when I am frustrated about this.

On a good note, I was reading the other day and something clicked for me.  We will not be presented with these decisions in heaven.  The temptation to do wrong will be eliminated therefore the choice to follow Christ won’t need to be made.  It will already have been made.  So, in the face of eternity, choosing to follow Christ daily for 70 years isn’t all that long really.  After 50 bazillion years in heaven I will probably look back at those first 70 years and say it was really only one choice after all…

Religion is like a what?!?!

I found this picture on my Facebook news feed the other day and at first I was offended, but after I thought about it for a while I felt really sad.

This is the sort of thing we are dealing with in today’s culture.  It used to be that people were fighting against Christianity and persecuting Christians.  Now they just don’t care.  In the spiritual war we are fighting for every soul around us, how do you fight against this?

People think they are doing fine on their own.  Even though they worship all manner of different things, they believe they have no god, and they are managing just fine.  Why would they need to obey some mythical figure and follow a bunch of rules?

The world around us screams about a Creator.  And it demands an answer.  Yes or no.  Unfortunately, pretending you don’t have to make the choice is actually choosing no.

Hose Clamp Skull Cap

I want to try to paint a picture of what it is like inside my head.  I find it a circle of struggles that I deal with on a regular basis.  I would assume that a lot of guys have these same struggles and I bet many use the same techniques I do to cope.  Anyway, here is the picture…

When my mind goes idle I often cast about trying to find things to think about.  This happens to me when I am driving, falling asleep, mowing the lawn, stuff like that.  I often think of this as the times I am hanging out with myself.  My internal monologue kicks in.  I am daydreaming about stuff.  I come up with arguments about things I am passionate about.  And my mind falls prey to all sorts of selfishness, greed, hurtfulness…..sin.

Ok, so the scene is set.  I just started mowing the lawn 3 minutes ago and I have about an hour and a half of mowing ahead of me.  My mind has shifted into neutral….

I start thinking about cars.  I love automobiles in general but I really love my car.  I have big plans for it like a supercharger at some point in the future (this won’t actually ever happen…), but in the interim, I would like to get a header-back exhaust on it.  That would be sweet and it is sort of inside the realm of possibility even though it would still cost quite a bit.  My thoughts never seem to just be content with the pure love of automobiles.  It always leads to me wishing I could get this for my car or do that to it.  I've got plans.  Always wanting something else.  Never content.  It is frustrating and I don’t think the discontent is biblical.  I think it is sin to always be wanting something more – never to be satisfied with what you have.  Alright fine!  I take a firm grip of my car thoughts and mentally push them over there and I hold them away from me with one of my mental arms.

Next…..

Sex.  That is something that’s pretty interesting to think about.  Problem is, it is such a slippery slope to keep sex thoughts pure and clean.  So that lasts for a lot less time than the car thoughts and I throw a super vice-grip onto those thoughts and mentally push them away.

Alright, now I’m holding those away.  I can do this.  Next…..

I love video games.  I wish I could somehow be a professional video game player (that or a race car driver of some sort).  I would love to make my living that way.  Yeah right…  So I start analyzing my latest session playing Destiny.  “Last time I went into the big room I headed left and tried sniping the guy from there but I wonder if it would work better to head to the right and climb up to the balcony.  There is better cover there and I could duck and hide if need be……”  How much of my life gets poured into video games?  How much of my time and mental energy is spent on this COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS PURSUIT?  You know what, video games in and of themselves are not the problem.  Sure they don’t promote anything good and usually they do promote stuff that is unhealthy, but I see the problem as the time they take from my life.  I think the enemy is very supportive of the video game industry as it pulls me out of basically everything.  Volunteer activities, building meaningful relationships, studying God’s Word, building into my relationship with my wife, praying, and on and on…  Ok, grab that with a firm grip and push it away and hold it there.  (Something you may not know about me is that I have quite a few mental arms – not just two.  I kind of need that many because my mental landscape all slopes toward me.  I can’t just push thoughts away and leave them there because they all roll back to me as soon as I let go of them.  Mental arms people – you can never have enough of them).

You know what it feels like to have all those mental arms holding stuff away? Imagine a hose clamp that fits onto your skull. 

Now tighten it down REALLY tight!  There, that should do it.  Ok (through gritted teeth) the breach is contained; I’m good to go now.  And so I move forward one painful step after another on the path of life.  Guess what happens to me every now and then (in fact quite often) – the hose clamp bursts open.  Everything comes apart and I fail.

Over and over and over and over and over and over………

Every time I fail I beat the stuffing out of myself.  I cry out, “God!  Why is this so hard all the time?!”  I can’t do it on my own.  I already know that – which makes it really hard to even motivate myself to grip those thoughts and push them away in the first place.  What is the point?  I have never succeeded at this in the past.  What makes me think I can do it now?

God stands at the door and knocks.  Give it to me my boy, that is the only way you can make this work.  Crazy thing is I don’t even own these struggles any more.  A story Boyd Hopkins used to explain it to me once goes like this:  Boyd bought a property once in BC.  It was a nice large property with foliage all around.  He went and checked the place out, he liked it, he bought it.  It wasn’t until the next year when he was standing on his back deck and he notices something out back in the bushes that he hadn’t ever seen before.  Sort of looks like a chimney or something out back there.  Turns out there was an old structure back there that was full of the previous owners old junk!  Old bicycles, lawn mowers, rusted patio furniture, broken windows, probably an old clothes dryer – you know the sort of stuff I’m talking about.  So, now what?  Call up the previous owner and get him to come clean this trash up?  Nope, Boyd had purchased it with the property.  Well God purchased our property on the cross.  He owns it!  All of it.  It is His because he bought it.  Haha, what a sucker God is right?!  Nope.  Difference is He knew it was there when he bought the property but He knew we would never be able to clean all that up.

So here’s the key: I have to stop fighting and say, “God, I’m gonna need you to come clean this up because you bought it on the cross and I actually can’t even lift it.”  I need to surrender it to God, not keep fighting.  I need to walk away from the fight.

How hard is that to do?  I haven’t managed to successfully do it yet.  I’m pretty sure it is harder than doing the Crota’s End raid on Hard in Destiny.