Paying Too Little

"It's unwise to pay too much, but it's worse to pay too little.  When you pay too much, you lose a little money - that's all.  When you pay too little, you sometimes lose everything, because the thing you bought was incapable of doing the thing it was bought to do.  The common law of business balance prohibits paying a little and getting a lot - it can't be done.  If you deal with the lowest bidder, it is well to add something for the risk you run, and if you do that you will have enough to pay for something better."

John Ruskin

Mr & Mrs

Do you remember when you were a kid and you called all the adults by their first names? 

You don’t?  Oh.

Why not?

Because you didn’t?  Hmm, I see.

Well what did you do then?  Ahh, yes, that’s right.  We called them Mr. LastName or Mrs. LastName.

I remember being so furious that my parents made me call all the adults Mr. or Mrs. LastName!  The injustice of it!  I felt so degraded.  What am I here a second class person that I can’t just hang with the adults and call them by their first names?  Outrageous!  I remember swearing an oath that I would NEVER revisit this cruelty on my own kids!

Oh yeah, that’s right.  I didn’t feel that way at all.  It was the normal way of things.  I was expected to respect other adults.  They were not my friends.  They were my parent’s friends.  Their kids were my friends.  I was allowed to call their kids by their first names.  I was not allowed to hang out with the adults when they were visiting, just bouncing around from one to the other, demanding that they swing me around or oooh and ahhh over my lego car.  We CREPT in to the living room and whispered into my Mom’s ear a question of such dire seriousness that we couldn’t in good conscience leave it until the visiting was done.

"Mom, Jeff fell off the roof and now there is blood coming out of his leg.  We tried to fix it up so we wouldn’t have to disturb you guys, but we just don’t know how.  Sorry to bother you, but can you please help us for just a minute?"

Was there something wrong with that?

The way I see it there are two problems here…

First, what is wrong with US that we just can’t abide the thought of being called Mr. or Mrs LastName?  We think we’re still kids?  We don’t want to accept the responsibility of being the adult?  We are so scared to alienate the children that we need to have them climbing all over us all the time?  “Oh, don’t call me Mr. Sawatzky, haha, that’s my father”.  Um, no, you are the father now.  Your kids need to be taught respect for adults.  Your kids will not respect “James” nearly as much as they will “Mr. Sawatzky”.  James is their buddy.  Mr. Sawatzky is their buddy’s dad.  Even Mr. James is not good enough people.

Ask yourself this: Why does it make you feel so uncomfortable for kids to call you Mr. or Mrs. LastName?

Second, we are doing our kids no favours whatsoever by bringing them up to see other adults as the same as their friends.  Our kids need that authority in their lives.  They need to learn that the other adults in the church or wherever, need to be listened to and obeyed.  Look at the kids these days – do they have a healthy respect for authority figures?  Not at all.  Kids just mock authority (the mocking comes more when they are older, but this is a direct result of not being taught to respect authority when they are young).  Our kids need this authority so they can have the security of knowing that it is not just a free-for-all out in the world.  It will help them be healthy well-adjusted people later in life.

We are hurting our kids by letting go of this tradition of respect.  It is our fault that today’s kids won’t respect authority.  I am not some power hungry monster that is looking to dominate all of earth’s children.  What I am calling for is a society of respect, not only for people in positions of authority over you (although yes, this too), but for everyone around you.

 
Even though I want my kids to call other adults Mr. or Mrs. LastName, there are very few of them who will allow it.  They are just not comfortable with it.  Sometimes the best I can do is to convince them to allow my kids to call them Mr. James.  There is nothing I can do about it when the other adult won’t step up.  I mourn the loss of this.  I really do.

My Existence Is Being Used Up!

I find lately that I am uninspired.  Bored with everything.  I am looking for some sort of excitement for my life.

I go to work to earn money for food, bills, mortgage and the occasional purchase.  I come home from work to eat supper with my family.  I try my best to put my work day behind me as quickly as I can because I need to be cheerful and talkative during the short time my kids are still up after I get home (to be honest I don’t only need to do this but I do want to do it, but it takes a superhuman effort most days to do this).  I need to build into them as much as I can during the time I have since I only get about 2 hours a day with them.  If I spend those 2 hours being on my own that is not fair to them; and once again, honestly, I don’t want them to have a family experience like that.

After the kids are in bed I read a book, or I watch some shows, or I play a computer game, or I _______________ (insert some other time wasting activity here).  You see, I have this time before I go to bed that needs to be filled somehow.  Sometimes I actually do something that needs to be done like changing the oil in my car, cleaning up the kitchen or mowing my lawn.  What does it mean?  Not really anything.

The next day – more of the same.

Sometimes I drive around thinking, What am I doing?  My existence is being used up on an errand to Future Shop.  It is not getting me anywhere.  There’s got to be more than this right?  Ok, well I do love driving, so I think, I’m going to enjoy my driving experience.  For me that probably means breaking a bunch of laws driving like a maniac so I don’t do this very often – it’s hard on the vehicle and it’s hard on the pocketbook if you get caught.  What is up with traffic?  Why do people drive so slowly?  Doesn’t anyone else try to enjoy the driving experience?  I guess not…  Soooo, if I can’t enjoy the driving experience what else can I do?  Hmm, well I really like listening to music extremely loud while I drive.  I’ll try that.  Looking through the albums on my phone……..nothing.  Great.  I bought this music, so I obviously like it, but there is usually nothing there that I’m really pumped to listen to.

What is my life?  Just an unending sequence of tasks and errands and stuff that really, in the end, is worthless?

I know the answers to all of these questions.  Intellectually I know that:

• if I were to be listening to God in the car while I drive instead of trying to fill my mind with useless nonsense it would bring me peace
• if I were to spend my time praying in the evenings I would find fulfillment since I would be engaging with the only being who can show me what I want to know
• if I were to spend my efforts looking for what God is doing around me and then engaging with Him in those activities it would be so much more rewarding than earning a Platinum trophy on a PS3 game by defeating an end boss in under 4 minutes
• so much else can go here…

God created me.  It wasn’t a whim.  I do have a purpose.  We all have a purpose and someday we will be called to answer.  My life feels unsatisfying because it is not in line with that purpose.  Of course I’m going to be aimlessly wandering!

I don’t put these solutions into practice in my life.  I really do know these things, but I always put off practicing them.  Paul said, “I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it.  Instead, I do what I hate.” Romans 7:15 (NLT)  He did the same thing as me!  I’ll bet he was riding around on his donkey (aka, driving) thinking the same things I do, “I need some excitement in my life.  I’m gonna gallop my donkey through town!  That will be epic!”  Paul and I have this in common: We were/are human.

This goes into every corner of my life.  Where do I spend my money?  Where do I spend my time?  Where do I direct my thoughts?  I spend it all, I direct it all towards myself.

 

How do I change this?  How do I drum up the energy to engage my desire to change this?  All of the unsaved people around me are relying on me!  And I am letting them down!