I'm not that bright...don't tell anyone...

So, today I'm walking around in Walmart, killing time, so of course I go over to the electronics department.  Where else am I going to go to kill time?  We've been talking about getting a wall mount for the TV...ok, so I go check those out.  There are a few there that I think would work pretty good, but they don't have the one in that I would get - they just have the display model which they won't sell me.  It is going to cost about $100.

Yesterday I spent $440 buying a 12 month Leisure Pass for the city.  This gets me into all of the public swimming pools, gyms, etc.  (I should mention here that my wellness allowance from work pays $200 of that 'cause I work for the best company ever) ("Be well John Spartan" - I had to add that.  Every time I think of my company's wellness allowance it reminds me of Demolition Man)  But still, it cost me $240.  I bought one in 2008 that I didn't even use for more than a couple months before I quit going.  Oh, right, this time is going to be better...

The day before that I spent $20 buying something that I'm not even going to mention on here since it is one of the stupidest things I have ever spent $20 on and I don't need to give you all amunition to give me a hard time - you do it enough already.

So on the way home from work today I'm thinking about the TV wall mount again.  Bummed out that they didn't have one in stock so I could buy it right away.  All of a sudden it hits me - why am I so controlled by things that I want to buy?  My emotions, my thoughts - I'm obsessed with stuff...things.

My poor wife does the finances in our house.  She does her best to rein me in, and get this, I have the nerve to be upset with her about it sometimes.  "Why won't she let me spend all our money on buying stuff?  It's my money too isn't it?"  /pouting while I scuff my toe in the dirt...

I have got a never ending list of stuff that I want.  I will never be able to buy everything I want on that list.  Every time, without fail, I buy something from the list, the next thing jumps to the top and a couple days later I am trying to hatch some sort of plan for why I should buy it.  "Oh, that's right, we need X now so much.  X is going to make our lives so much easier.  Are we really making it without X right now?  Yeah, we are, but you know what?  Everything has changed since yesterday when we were doing fine without X but we really needed Y - now we have Y and we are going to be screwed if we don't get X too."  Sheesh, I am so pathetic.

Here is something else I thought of: I go to Walmart to kill time.  I also do this sometimes at Future Shop, Home Depot...  I must be an idiot.  You know, I thought I was pretty bright.  Not one of the brightest, but pretty bright.  I made it through school, got my professional designation - I must be pretty bright to have done that.  Nope, not really.  Somehow I must have managed to fool everyone because really I am an idiot.  Why don't I just bring Elise and Jackson to a soother store and tell them they can't have any...and don't touch anything either.  "Oooo, look Jackson, this soother has an ipod dock, how have you been managing without that on your soother up until now?  Sorry, can't have it."  /crying children...  Of course I'm going to buy stuff if I wander around where all the stuff is!!!!!

Anyway, now that I have identified the problem I'm sure it will be simple to correct this behaviour.  I mean...I am an engineer...problem solving is what we do best...